That's what older people or seemingly "country" people said when things were a bit crazy, funny or ridiculous.
Or... getting old.
I know you've seem it and hate it, "Lordy lordy look who's forty!". It's on those cheap $1.99 greeting cards in the drugstore and grocery stores.
Well I'm about to turn forty - I think! I'll have to redo the math, but it's either thirty-nine or forty. Also a sign of being over thirty. Every adult I know that is older says they "feel younger than ever, " that they would "never choose to be young again," that they "finally enjoy life..." and I have to agree, as much as I hate chiming in with the masses.
I've never been more fit, more clear headed and well - fucking sexy! Man, the availability of guys when you're a grown (over thirty), fit gay man seems unlimited! I think it might be because as gay men get older they get closer to the "ideal male image" of being not a boy, not old but just right. Add a few muscles and you become the guy others dream about; well, a modified version of that guy. I say that because clearly, without question, the ideal man for most even in Seattle is white and taller than I am. But - my fitness level and prominent abs are actual not that common, despite what our digital-sex world tells us. I think I read that only 2-3% of men ever develop visible abs, kids excluded.
Anyways, for whatever the reason - this is my reality, which seemed to happen overnight. I went to bed one day being Jose average, and woke up the next being the adorable, sexy guy.
So this weekend I'm actually hitting the runway (if you can call a fashion show at a gay bar that) in underwear, four different costume changes, each featuring my abs and all that I have to show off. If I think about it I get nervous, I don't even know if we wear shoes for the event or not or if we have to do a little gyrating-sextatic moves, but that's the other thing about being over thirty - you can just deal with it. It will be fine.
So I'm not sure how I'll celebrate myself this summer during this landmark year. Maybe I'll do the classic photo shoot that some (gay?) people do or just go about my normal hobbies, but whatever I do feels like it's just going to be better than ever this time. It's a neat feeling.
